Length, Girth or How it's used?

Length, Girth or How it's used? This question usually pops up when I've writing a sex scene, specifically when I'm trying to undress the hero for the first time. As an author, I have to envision the hero, describe him and make him different from all my other heroes (especially in a menage when there's another man in the room.)

How long is it? How thick? Does any of that matter? Does size matter to his lover? Does size make him a better lover?

You see how the questions start spiraling around in my brain? Such a sad thing for an author, really...to have to think about such things...envision such things. *snicker*

Personal experience always comes in handy at a time like this.

Length is always good...for reaching certain spots, scaling new heights. But is there such a thing as too long? Oh dear. A new question. And sometimes, in some erotic romances, the author would have us believe that the hero is unbelievably long, er, well endowed. So long that it won't all fit.

To which I say... ouch?!

And while length is important, is girth not more important? Many a romance have waxed poetic about feeling full. Some have gone as far as to say stretched. Does stretching bring to mind scarier moments that should only come along nine months later?

So how does one describe all this? How long and thick is just right? Does any of it really matter in real life or in fiction? Is it all in the motion? Or is there something more important here?

Stamina, for instance? Self control? Shape?

If you want to get a closer look at Andre, in all his glory, check out the release of Mated to a Cajun Werewolf on June 6th (from Cobblestone Press). ;-)